The blog of Greg DeLoach

Roswell Georgia

Fragments of a Life

Tiny scraps of paper were scattered about the floor of my small study at home. My first inclination was to pick up the little pieces and toss the debris in the trash. Well, actually, my very first thought was to ignore the litter and pretend I didn’t see the mess and leave it for another, more convenient time. I thought better of the first thought, so I stooped down and starting picking up the little tatters of paper. This small mess was created by our “little girl,”  Annie – a bullboxer puppy we adopted from a rescue shelter this summer. Picking up the pieces I noticed that it was a photograph she nibbled away from the bookshelf. I am sure she thought, “That guy in the picture looks nice…I think I will bite his face and maybe digest a few parts.”   The picture was from a 1992 whitewater trip I led with a group from the church I served as pastor. I was 26 when the photo was taken, and my oldest child (not pictured) was only a few months old. There I was in the snapshot (or what was now left of me): young and confident; hopeful and expectant. Twenty-four years later I can say that I still like a good paddle down a river, but I am not so young and that little boy of mind is now nearly as old as I was in the photo.   I am a bit sad that there is not much left of the picture. What Annie left me is more like a cheap puzzle missing several pieces. Still,...

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

I am the older of my two brothers. One is just 10 ½ months younger (so we share the same numerical age for six bemusing weeks) and the other, the baby of the family, is 2 ½ years younger. We are close in age and growing up we were fierce in loyalty. I should add that we were, from time to time through adolescence, just as fierce antagonizing each other, tussling through our childhood as brothers tend to do.   There is a well-known story in Genesis of two brothers, Cain and Abel, sons of Adam and Eve. Cain harbors anger against his brother Abel that escalates. Inexplicably Cain kills his brother. Immediately in the story we read that the LORD asked Cain, “Where is your brother?” Cain retorts, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9)   Although the question is not answered, we know the answer, don’t we? “Yes, yes Cain, you are your brother’s keeper.” And so am I and so are you. We are our brother’s and our sister’s keeper.   Yet much too often we abide more in the isolation with Cain, absorbed in self – pity, narcissism, greed, and anxiety. Cain loses a brother because he was looking out for himself, forgetting that his identity is shared with others. In losing his brother he loses himself.   We neglect our brothers and sisters in so many small acts. On Facebook we “unfriend” those whose words are inconvenient; we objectify according to gender, race, socio-economics; and we selfishly consume conspicuously because of our steady-belief in the god of scarcity. Who has time for watching out...

Disabling an Omnipotent God

When we speak of God we typically think in categories of “omni” – such as “omnipotent” (all-powerful); “omniscient” (all-knowing); “omnibenevolent” (all-good); or “omnipresent” (all-present). Such philosophical ponderings can lead to some silly conundrums, such as the one a religion professor posed to a class I was taking in college. It went something like this: “If God is all-powerful, can God make a rock so heavy that God cannot lift it?” His follow-up was equally disturbing, “If God is all-good, who created evil?” Logical absurdities aside, many take comfort in believing in a God that is all and everything. Have you ever thought of God as disabled? What comes to your mind when you hear the word, “disabled?” Some synonyms for this word include incapacitated, restricted, immobilized, and hindered. Such words seem inappropriate for the Lord of the Universe. Again I ask, have you ever thought of God as disabled? The Bible does. In Isaiah we read: he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. 3 He was despised and rejected by others;    a man of suffering[a] and acquainted with infirmity; and as one from whom others hide their faces[b]    he was despised, and we held him of no account. (53:2b-3) But the text that really grabs me by the collar and shakes me is the ancient hymn Paul quotes in Philippians chapter 2: Let the same mind be in you that was[a] in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God,    did not regard equality with God    as something to be exploited,...

Wanderings: Reflections on a Life, part 7

“A Life of Gratitude”   Meister Eckhart, in his contemplative and mystical work Cloud of Unknowing, wrote, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”   I am discovering these days that gratitude marks most of my prayers when, especially when I am not sure what else to say. It is not that I am thankful for all events in my life. Certainly not. I am not thankful about pain or suffering, especially when it involves those whom I love the most. I am not thankful for evil in this world, or the hateful speech I hear, or the unloving acts against others.   But I am grateful to share in this life with others as we confront a world that is often broken, suffering, and wanting for love.   The monk David Steindl-Rast presented a Ted-Talk and said that the one thing that unites all persons everywhere is that we all want to be happy. Some think that when you are happy you are grateful, but this monk challenges us to think again. It is not that gratitude comes from happiness, but that when we are grateful we are happy. I think he is right.   I have lived, for the most part, a happy life, but not because my moments are filled with pleasure. It is the moments when I can slow down enough to be grateful: grateful for good food, and the hands that have prepared it; grateful to see my sweet wife smile when I walk in the door in the evening; grateful for a...

Wanderings: Reflections on a Life, Pt. 6

“The Grace of Doing Nothing” I am not very good at doing “nothing.” I am easily distracted; fidgety; and deep down carry the deceptive belief that I should always be “productive.” Productivity is a lie we tell ourselves so that we may feel valuable. Nevertheless, I struggle with this lie and have spent too much of my life shouldering this onerous burden with busyness. Family vacations have taught me a different path; a path of passive resistance. I did not grow up with a family that took regular vacations. It was a luxury of time we did not have on a dairy farm that operates with milkings twice a day, every day. I can remember going on four distinct vacations with members of my family. When I was 8 years old we took a vacation to Disney World. The park had just opened a couple of years earlier and it is still one of my favorite childhood memories. A few years later my grandparents took us to the Smoky Mountains for a few days. Those mountains still have a hold on me. The first time I remember seeing the ocean was on a quick trip to Daytona Beach. Another time I went to Destin Beach with my maternal grandparents. The ocean holds its own kind of mystery and I never tire in hearing the tide come in. These four vacations all occurred within the first twelve years of my life, and I am grateful for each one. After that, if we wanted to see the mountains or go to the beach we had to find a way on our...

Wanderings: Reflections on a Life Pt 5

“Friends” When I was a child, friendships came easily. All I had to do was “play nice,” and just like that, friendships were formed. I remember swinging with Harold on the playground. We talked about what we wanted to be when we grew up and how we would be friends forever, maybe even live in the same neighborhood. Harold was African-American. Back then I did not know about issues of race or the divisions of class distinctions. I just knew that Harold was my friend.   But as I grew older friendships became more complicated. Cars, clothes and relationships were sources of competition. As such, my circle of friendships grew smaller. No longer was it a matter of swinging on the playground during recess. It was more of an issue of popularity, and as such friendships were  like commodities to be used and traded.   Entering college I left behind my childish ways, as well as most of my friends. It was not so much a rejection of my childhood friends as it was geography. I was 180 miles away from my hometown. When I moved to seminary it was nearly 500 miles away. Nevertheless more than thirty years later there are many of my friends from childhood that I have not seen since the day I received my High School diploma. Harold, along with a few others, has since passed away.   College, and later seminary, brought new friends, but, as with my childhood, life’s progressions like graduation, family and career would eventually leave many – most – of my friends behind in a nostalgic wake of memory.   I...

Wanderings: Reflections on a Life pt. 4

“You Are Not Your Own”   I grew up with a family where church was simply a part of life together. It was, and still is, a small church embedded in a rural county, surrounded by thickets of pines and pastures of hay. A portrait of Jesus hanging on the wall stared at me every Sunday as we recited the Apostle’s Creed. From the little, brown and slightly tattered Cokesbury hymnal our mighty congregation of about 30 would sing “Dwelling in Beulah Land,” although no one in particular was in a hurry to go there any time soon.   Since my beginning, and I am certain at my very beginning, it was impressed upon me that my life was not my own and that I am a part of something much bigger than my solitary life. I stopped being the center of my universe many years ago, although my own orbit still tugs against the hidden gravity keeping me from being fully consumed with self-centeredness.   I suppose you are expecting me to write about all the certainties I have unearthed along the way about faith. I will save those sermons for other pulpits. I am content enough to saunter deeper into mystery. It is enough for me to know that I am but a part of the Great Mystery’s work.   My mentor, Thomas Merton, who died two years after I was born, wrote: …if we could let go of our own obsession with what we think is the meaning of it all, we might be able to hear His call and follow Him in His mysterious, cosmic...

Wanderings: Reflections on a Life, pt 3

I have decided that for my 50th birthday I am going to write 50 articles this summer reflecting on my wanderings. These are not “pearls of wisdom” by any stretch of the imagination. Truthfully I have accumulated very little wisdom in all of my days. I simply want to reflect “out loud” as an active bystander of this life. I am grateful to share it with you.   Mentors, Pastors, Coaches and other Companions Along the Road   I am learning – and it has taken me 50 years and counting – that you cannot make it through this world alone. The notion of “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” is misleading at best, a lie at worst. Everyone needs someone to guide them along the way.   For me, it has taken a long time for me to acknowledge that I need help.   When I was a teenager and well into my adult years I had too much pride and rarely asked for help. Maybe I did not want to appear weak, or ignorant, or helpless. I wanted to demonstrate that I was smart enough and what I did not know I could figure out.   Well that is just dumb thinking.   I am slowly learning the truth than I cannot do anything, really, all by myself. As my hair continues to grey (and retreat) I am recovering the importance of connecting with those who have gone before me and who will help show me a better way.   For eight years I played football. Throughout that time I worked with coaches who inspired me, cajoled me,...

Wanderings: Reflections on a Life, pt 2.

June 21, 2016   Every moment and every event of everyman’s life on earth plants something in his soul. For just as the wind carries thousands of winged seeds, so each moment brings with it germs of spiritual vitality that come to rest imperceptibly in the minds and wills of men. – Thomas Merton, “New Seeds of Contemplation”   Meaningful work. I count it a grace that most of my life has been filled with meaningful work to do. I am grateful for health that allows me to sweat over tilling a garden, or splitting a pile of firewood, or sprinting down a corridor in a hospital to visit a loved one. I am grateful for a mind still sharp enough (but not that sharp) to articulate a thought into action and a dream into a plan.   Work that means something is meaningful work whether it is repairing a car, stitching up a patient, or cleaning a house, or helping feed a friend.   In my teens I remember many days standing on the wet, concrete floor of the dairy barn looking out to the pastures as the morning sun began to warm the sky with color and light. I gazed longingly and hopefully for something more.   Growing up on a dairy farm there was always work to do, and to be candid, I rarely appreciated it. Everyone knows that cows have to be milked twice a day, every day, but there are so many other chores. There were endless miles of barbwire fences that needed to be repaired or replaced, leaving hands and arms nicked and...

Wanderings: Reflections on a Life

June 20, 2016   I have decided that for my 50th birthday I am going to write 50 articles reflection on my wanderings. These are not “pearls of wisdom” by any stretch of the imagination. Truthfully I have accumulated very little wisdom in all of my days. I simply want to reflect “out loud” as an active bystander of this life. I am grateful to share it with you.   Today is my birthday. I am 50. On the one hand, it is just a number. Nothing happened this morning that was particularly different. My alarm rang at 4:59 AM; I shuffled downstairs and groggily made a cup of coffee; I read for a while; and left for my morning commute to the office. But today I am 50, and it feels as though it should mean something.   It does mean that I have traversed this good earth for half of a century. It does mean that I do not have the body, looks, reflexes or mental acuity of a teenager. It does mean, according to actuarial tables, that I have lived over half of my life. Someone asked me over lunch if I felt different. Well, not really. I feel like I should be twenty-five, but the mirror and my driver’s license does not lie.   For my birthday I want to share with you about a hike I made a couple of weeks ago.   I had just wrapped up a 14 mile trek that began near the top of Newfound Gap and descended to Deep Creek in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Although the...

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Comments

Past Articles